She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
