You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
