Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
