ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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