i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I deserve this hangover.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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