I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize