she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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