Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
