did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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