omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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