why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My vagina is officially offended.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
