To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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