i just had sex bonerless
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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