Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize