wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize