I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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