By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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