Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
