This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
