I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
