i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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