Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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