I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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