I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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