You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize