Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
