For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
