If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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