hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
