I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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