Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
