Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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