i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
