Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
