Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
