I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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