Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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