We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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