it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
