my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
