eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
