how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
