Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
