Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
