Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize