her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
even my farts smell like vagina
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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