my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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