she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
