i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
