oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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