would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
