Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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