the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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