sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
