Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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