Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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