Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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