Your mouth is God's brothel.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
