yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
