Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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