He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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